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No sport is more American than baseball. And nothing in the history of baseball has ever been more American than this glorious two-minute ejection of a minor league manager.
In the second inning of a June 1, 2007 game between the Mississippi Braves and Chattanooga Lookouts, Braves manager Phillip Wellman got ejected for chirping at umpires from the dugout. What the umpires did not count on was that Wellman is a proud American who will never allow his freedom of speech to be trampled by anyone.
After the ejection, Wellman marched onto the field and proceeded to do ALL of the following:
- Throw his hat
- Completely cover home plate with dirt
- Draw a new, oversized home plate with his finger
- Uproot third base, stalk across the infield and fling it into right field
- Army crawl to the pitcher’s mound
- Toss the rosin bag at the home plate umpire like a grenade
- Eject all of the umpires
- Uproot second base and carry it through the outfield
- Salute the crowd on his way out of the stadium
The punishment for even one of those crimes in Cuba: Death by firing squad.
The punishment Wellman received in Mississippi, USA: A $100 fine and a three-game suspension. The next year, he led his team to a Southern League championship.
That kind of freedom ain’t free. Happy birthday, America.
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