Dan Haren won’t be playing baseball next season. After a 13-year career that included stops with eight different teams, the three-time All-Star retired after 2015. That left him feeling reflective about his MLB career, and he recently took to Twitter to share his thoughts. Haren’s never been afraid of self-deprecation—his Twitter username, @ithrow88, refers to the fact that he’s never been a flamethrower—and the results were pretty hilarious. Here are some of our favorites:
A couple things: that 11-run win Haren referenced happened on Aug. 21, 2006, when he was a member of the Oakland Athletics. And he actually gave up only 9 runs in 5 2/3 innings (I use the word “only” very loosely here). The A’s won 12-10.
But Haren was right about getting owned by B. J. Upton. Upton hit six homers off him in just 40 at-bats. He’s also right about giving up lots of homers in general; his 305 career home runs allowed ranked 48th highest in league history. But his 3.75 career ERA shows he was pretty effective despite all those long balls.
If you aren’t following Dan Haren on Twitter yet, now would be a good time.
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