J. J. Watt and Andy Dalton are many things. Watt is one of the best defensive players in the NFL, unleashing his physicality on any poor offensive lineman who is assigned to stop him from reaching the quarterback. Dalton is having a career year, leading the Cincinnati Bengals to the best start in franchise history and completing 66 percent of his passes, the best of his career.
What Watt and Dalton and Watt are not, though, are adept trash talkers.
Watt’s Houston Texans stormed into Paul Brown Stadium on Monday Night Football and placed the first blemish on the Bengals’ previously squeaky clean 8-0 record. For the first time all season, Dalton was just average, throwing the ball 38 times for 197 yards with an interception and no touchdowns.
After the game, Watt, who sacked Dalton once, had some “words” for the red-haired quarterback.
Oh, I’m sorry, were you finished J. J.? I fell asleep. Two things. First, that line sounds so contrived, so rehearsed, it’s even lamer that it was all Watt could come up with. Like he practiced it in the hotel mirror a couple times the night before and was like “yeah, this will really zing him.” Second, don’t bring the greatest Christmas movie of all time (A Christmas Story) into your sub-par trash talk. We won’t have it. Alas, that was not the end of what has quickly become the most boring beef in sports. A reporter relayed Watt’s comments to Dalton during his post-game press conference, and Dalton had this to say in response:
The first rule of trash talking: don’t compliment the person to whom you’re trash-talking. Dalton could have come with some fire, making fun Watt’s commercial with the freaking Zac Brown Band to get hyped for a football game, and he still would have ruined it by calling Watt “one of the best players in the game.”
Here’s hoping this lame war of words ends as quickly as it began, for the fans’ sake.