(Photo via USA Today)
You've probably heard by now that a dude by the name of Jack Taylor scored 138 points in a Division III basketball game last night. Taylor, a 5'10" sophomore guard for Grinnell College (Iowa), jacked up 108 shots, 71 from behind the three-point line. As the world struggles to wrap its head around how a single player can even take 108 shots in a 40-minute game, the best place to gauge the pulse of a nation is always Twitter.
With Jack Taylor's name trending for almost an entire day, there was no shortage of tweets about his incredible performance. Here are the funniest of the lot.
Damnit!!!!! I left Jack Taylor on my bench in my Division III fantasy basketball league
— Evil Mike Tomlin (@EvilMikeTomlin) November 21, 2012
Fantasy sports joke!
Jack Taylor scored 138 points tonight, or what the Jacksonville Jaguars call "a season." — Happy Gilmore (@_Happy_Gilmore) November 21, 2012
Somewhere, Blaine Gabbert is curled up in a ball, crying himself to sleep in a dark room.
Some kid named Jack Taylor scored 138 points in D3 basketball. Who was guarding him? Hellen Keller? — JT Toton (@JTToton) November 21, 2012
How do we know Hellen Keller didn't get after it on the defensive end back in her day?
What's the difference between Jack Taylor and Time? Time passes. — Will Brewer (@WillDaRise) November 21, 2012
I just blocked 500 shots on an elementary school playground. So what?/RT @nypost Division III star Jack Taylor scores 138 points in one game
— Scott Huff (@ScottHuffNYC) November 21, 2012
Not sure what you're doing on an elementary school playground in the first place, Scott.
This just in: Jack Taylor has shot 63 more three-point shots in the last minute. #HeatCheck
— Shawn Brown (@kc9qha) November 21, 2012
Look out for Jack Taylor's remix of "Stay Schemin'," entitled "Stay Shootin'," dropping soon.
Five years from now, Jack Taylor will put "Scored 138 points in a college basketball game" on his résumé. The interviewer will laugh at him.
— Doug Potter (@DougPotter15) November 21, 2012
Even at Staples?
What's the scouting report for Jack Taylor next game? "umm scorer, doesn't hesitate. Contest." lol
— Kendall Marshall (@KButter5) November 21, 2012
The former North Carolina Tar Heel has jokes.
If I played with Jack Taylor... Him and I would've combined for 138 points last night.
— Tyler (@tyler1061) November 21, 2012
So you're saying Jack Taylor doesn't enjoy passing?
While Jack Taylor was busy scoring 138 points, I scored 2 points to bring my career total to 4. I guess you could say we both had big nights
— Dan Fahey (@DanFahey10) November 21, 2012
Dan Fahey is officially STACK's new favorite basketball player.
Photo Credit: Getty Images // Thinkstock