No word or phrase can accurately describe Russell Westbrook’s sartorial style. One day, he dresses like a festival-goer who’s spent too many days at Burning Man, and the next day, it’s like he stepped out of a scene from The Breakfast Club.
Westbrook wears what he damn pleases, and it feels like all the ridicule he’s received for his outrageous fashion choices has only fueled louder, more head-shaking fits. Does this mean we should stop poking fun at Westbrook’s get-ups? God, no. If he’s going to dress like a nomad lost in the desert, then he shall be judged as such.
Thus, we’ve ranked Westbrook’s worst 2016 Playoffs outfits, because nothing is more important in the whole wide world.
The Mighty Duck
The least egregious of the ‘fits, mostly due to the clutch custom Anaheim Mighty Ducks jersey with Westbrook’s nickname, “The Brodie” on the back. The jeans have one too many rips for my taste. I like my legs to be hidden from both other people and the sun, but Westbrook’s legs are made of solid steel, so he gets a pass. Certainly this is the most “traditional” outfit Westbrook has sported through two rounds of the Playoffs. Does he even watch hockey? Who cares? The jersey is fire.
The Punk Rocker
Here Westbrook is so punk rock, he’s not punk rock at all. He’s like the kid who stumbled upon his dad’s record collection, put on The Ramones and now can’t stop telling his friends how he’s discovered “real rock and roll, man.” At least he kept the sleeves intact. The pants, though. The pants. The “hi, I’d like some new denim, but can you make sure they’re covered in gobs of white paint as if I just finished the second coat in my boudoir?” pants. The “I’m on my way to the rodeo, but I still need to stunt” pants. We can’t let this go unchecked.
The “Whatever, Dad!”
This is rebellious Russ at his finest. My man rolled up to an NBA Playoff game in the year 2016 wearing an aqua sweater without sleeves, jeans that remain jeans due only to a single thread on each leg, red boat shoes and a bandana. This outfit that would cause your pops to say, “if you leave the house wearing that, you’re not seeing daylight for two weeks,” but you do it anyway because high fashion obeys no one.
The Day Four at Burning Man
This is just the worst. I guess sometimes you’re fresh out of clean clothes, so you’re forced to throw on that trash rug your mom bought 10 years ago but still won’t dispose of. That’s what this top is. It’s a piece of a tent from a traveling circus. It’s the only piece of clothing you have left after spending way too much time at Burning Man. It’s the piece of fabric you bought when you auditioned for the scarecrow in your town’s local production of The Wizard of Oz. This is peak awfulness, but Westbrook could care less. He put this on, left the house and said, “let’s go win us a playoff game.” Respect.