How to Build a Winning Turkey Bowl Lineup

STACK profiles seven typical types of Turkey Bowl players and offers a scouting report on how to make the most of their skill sets to build a winning team.

Turkey Bowl Team

You want your Turkey Bowl team to be blessed with talented players spread across the field. Follow this scouting report to learn about seven typical types and how you can plug them into your lineup to optimize their skill sets.

Johnny Football Hero

He's your high school team's quarterback and unquestioned leader of the offense, and for this year's Turkey Bowl, Johnny Football Hero is here to, well, play quarterback and lead the offense, because that's what Johnny Football Hero does.

If that's the case, call an audible and put another player at quarterback. In fact, why not let everyone on the team get a shot at playing QB? As for Johnny, let him spread his wings and play another position on the field. Stand your ground on not letting him play QB. Remember, you're trying to keep the game even and fun for all involved. Tell Johnny you've got a Double-Reverse Pass play specifically drawn up for him.

Charlie Hustle

Charlie Hustle is the anti-Johnny Football Hero. He's gritty—a lunch pail kind of player—who lives by the motto "hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard."

Charlie plays both ways in the fall and is a standout on special teams. This Turkey Bowl, however, Charlie will step into a starring role as your team's starting QB. Who knows, you may discover a play-making diamond in the rough.

Prime Time

He'll be sporting brand new football cleats, gloves and apparel, and you'll be able to spot Prime Time in his shiny new gear all the way from the parking lot. Chances are that regardless of the outdoor conditions, Prime Time's cleats and apparel will be just as clean after the game as they were when he first stepped onto the field. That being said, lock Prime Time in as your team's WR-DB, positions that require the least amount of physical contact.

Taylor "Swift"

Don't be fooled by her pretty face and lean figure: Taylor is deceptively athletic and she runs like a deer. Send this heartbreaker on a deep route down the sideline and unleash her game-breaking speed.

Fail Mary

Opposite of Taylor Swift is Fail Mary. What she lacks in athleticism, she more than makes up for with enthusiasm. Mary will play her part by running the deep route to draw coverage to the opposite side of the field, freeing up Taylor to make the big play.

Blind Side

How's this for a mismatch nightmare? Bring in Blind Slide—a.k.a. your team's mammoth lineman—in a goal line situation and throw him a jump ball pass to the back corner of the end zone. A big man with soft hands will come down with the pigskin the majority of the time.


He left his Calvin Johnson jersey at home after copping the newest Nike outdoor apparel, but "Megaton" is still clamoring for the lion's share of your team's pass targets. Feed him the ball early and hit him with a few Quick Slant routes, which should help set the table for a deep strike when your opponent least expects it.

Photo: AP

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