[youtube video=”CpvC86RKSYY” /]
There’s something deeply satisfying about a clip like this. Maybe it’s the:
- “Come at me, bro. Come at me.”
- Cartoonish scream after the fall.
- Knowledge that the bride is about to put her heel through the skull of the groomsman who just ruined her wedding photos.
But do you know what’s even more satisfying than that parkour fail? This one:
[youtube video=”wZZ7IVqj9EY” /]
Isn’t it great?! Playground guy was originally this week’s Fitness Fail Friday winner. We had nearly 400 words written up on this video. Our observations included:
- Lots of kid voices in the background, no kids on video. If you’re a parent and a single 26-year-old male starts checking out your playground with his two camera-bearing bros, you institute a strict 100-foot buffer. We imagine there’s a single teeter-totter in the corner of the park surrounded by 20 kids who were instructed to “stay away from the bad guys.”
- “I pooped myself a little.” Exactly the punishment we’d mete out to a full-grown man jumping around a playground. His offense wasn’t so bad that we’d recommend broken bones, but a little poo to teach a lesson? We’re good with that. Oh, and make sure he can never have kids.
We felt that it was, if not the finest work STACK has ever published, at least in the conversation. Then, just as we were about to hit “Publish,” we saw this comment on YouTube.
“It’s HORSE, and he does this on purpose.”
Perhaps, like us, you vaguely remember hearing about an America’s Got Talent contestant whose “talent” was allowing people to kick him in his crotch for 60 seconds. That was a real thing that happened on television in America.
[youtube video=”Sz12kGOZ-mw?start=52&end=73″ /]
Some nervous Googling confirmed our suspicions.
The man in our video was the same Horse, and he was not trying to do parkour at all. Instead, he was aiming for the family jewels the whole time. That doesn’t fly with us.
Rest assured, we take Fitness Fail Friday quite seriously. We understand that if you can’t trust us to bring you legit footage of a man pooping himself because he’s bad at parkour, how can you trust anything we say?
Nice try, Horse, but you can’t pull one over on STACK that easily. Today, you’ll have to take a backseat to some dumb guy falling on his face the right way. Think about what you’ve done. And if you want to fight about it, we’re ready.
Come at me, bro. Come at me.