Every sports fan dreams of being able to get on the court with his or her favorite professional athlete. Unfortunately, fans sometimes forget their idols are the best in the world at what they do. Fans are normal people who may have scored four points one time during a pickup basketball game in college. Chances are, if you step up to an athlete, he will embarrass you in whatever competition you choose, and then you’ll end up on the Internet. We found four instances of average joes being humiliated by the very sports stars they worship.
Kobe Bryant Works Fan in Game of H.O.R.S.E.
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Maybe it’s because he played all of four games last season due to injury. Maybe it’s because he comes from the Michael Jordan line of insane competitors. Whatever the reason, Kobe Bryant took out his frustration on some poor fan during a game of HORSE at the 2014 Kobe Academy. The smack talk began early, even though the fan strolled in wearing a Kobe branded t-shirt and clearly considers the guy his idol. The fan gets off to an excellent start, draining a one-handed 3 pointer, which Kobe casually copies. Kobe can’t hit the fan’s next two makes, a 3-pointer off the backboard and a deep 3. But once the fan misses, the game is essentially over.
As Kobe begins to demolish his much smaller opponent (who incorrectly assumed this was going to be a simple jump-shooting contest) with a series of layups standing directly beneath the hoop and bouncing the ball into the basket, the Black Mamba can’t help but continue the verbal onslaught.
“I’m not going to give you shots you’ve been practicing for two months,” Kobe says, like it’s Game 7 of the NBA Finals or something. By the end of the game, the fan is so shaken up that he’s air-balling free throws while Kobe drains half-court shots like shots of tequila. Thanks for playing, dude.
Dwight Howard Blocks a Child’s Shot
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Throughout his career, some have viewed Dwight Howard as a child due to his propensity to laugh at fart jokes and his overall whininess on the court. But perhaps he earned that reputation because he enjoys swatting the dreams of small children into the stands. Before a game against the Sacramento Kings last season, Howard playfully shot hoops against a child who couldn’t have been older than 4. For awhile Howard did all the right things a grown man should do when engaging a pre-schooler in a game of hoops—playing loose defense, giving the kid a clear path to the hoop, etc.) That is, until he decided to swat the young hooper’s shot attempt into the stands. Though he did eventually let the kid score, it was too late. We expect the kid to seek therapy for the rest of his life. Howard’s behavoir shouldn’t come as a surprise. He’s a chronic child shot blocker.
Andy Roddick Wins with a Frying Pan
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Andy Roddick once hit a serve 153 miles per hour. That was with a tennis racquet. Turns out, he’s pretty decent with a frying pan too. His first opponent was a contest winner, whom he beat 7-4 in a tiebreak. With a frying pan. He then beat a smack talking blogger from Barstool Sports. Again, with a frying pan, like you use to fry things.
Aaron Gordon Makes a Youngster Fall Over
Aaron Gordon is just a rookie. Some day he will learn that making women, or in this case, a young girl, fall over due to your crossover is not the best look. While taking part in an NBA Fit event, Gordon taught a kid from Central Florida a lesson: getting your ankles broken will cause your shame to be immortalized on the internet. I see a lot of zone defense being played in this girl’s future, so as to avoid situations like this. At least Gordon showed some remorse, running away from the scene of the crime as if he narrowly avoided running over a squirrel.
Hot Sauce Crosses Over Unassuming Defender
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Here’s a general rule: If you’re an average basketball-playing dude, don’t try and guard people with names like Hot Sauce. The And 1 Mixtape legend not only makes his defender completely lose sight of the basketball, but he also launches an alley-oop that ends with said defender being crushed by a dunk. That guy may not want to enter a gymnasium ever again, and perhaps he should stay away from all things associated with hot sauce from now on.
High School Kid Talks Smack to John Wall, Gets Dunked On
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Some high school kid thought it might be a good idea to challenge the Washington Wizards point guard to a game of one-on-one, even though John Wall is, you know, in the NBA. The high schooler actually hold his own for a moment before Wall shuts everything down by dunking over him and draining a deep 3 for the win. It was fun while it lasted, high school smack talker. Now the video of you being dunked over by an NBA player will live in infamy—and in perpetuity—on the interwebs.