There are scientific ways to measure a person's health, such as studying their diet, calculating their body fat percentage and observing whether or not they did, in fact, eat those 10 chalupas they ordered from Taco Bell. And then there are extremely non-scientific ways to gather the very same information, such as judging how healthy a pro athlete is strictly based on the products he endorses. And that's exactly what we've done, from healthiest to least healthy. Enjoy.
Kevin Durant – KIND Bar
The nicest guy in the NBA is also the healthiest. Can't you just picture the Oklahoma City Thunder star chilling on the bench, smiling and getting his daily value of fruit, nuts and some good ol' whole grains? No wonder he's so skinny.
Robert Griffin III – Subway
If you're like me and order a Chicken Bacon & Ranch Melt with bits of chicken that look like silly putty, Subway should be much lower on the list. But RGIII definitely doesn't order that, or else he'd end up looking like Jared before the Subway sponsorship.
Richard Sherman – Beef Jerky
Look, mass-produced beef jerky like this isn't great. And Richard Sherman (and the Seattle Seahawks in general) lost to the St. Louis Rams, so you know something isn't right. But there are worse things you could eat than jerky, like a Baconator or those berries from your neighbor's exotic plant.
Brian Hoyer – Mr. Hero
If you're unfamiliar with Mr. Hero, it's a submarine shop that also serves burgers and fries and boasts a motto that reads "Prepared Fresh for You." And while it might be fresh, wolfing down things like a Hot Buttered Cheesesteak or Romanburger could leave Hoyer with a larger belly than he would like. The partnership has led to the best commercial ever, though. So there's that.
Marshawn Lynch — Skittles
I think it's amazing that a professional athlete can ink a deal to get free Skittles for his entire life. His teeth may be gone in five years, but that's beside the point.
Johnny Manziel – Snickers
Johnny Jamboogie has had plenty of time to chow down on this chocolaty snack as he patiently waits for his chance to play quarterback in the NFL. It's why he's so solemn on the sidelines during games. He doesn't want anyone to see his Snicker-stained teeth.
LeBron James – McDonald's
LeBron James is the perfect human specimen, so there's absolutely no way a piece of McDonald's food has ever touched his lips. If it did, I imagine his insides would explode and he'd immediately turn into the Nutty Professor. Also, you look ridiculous in that hat, LeBron. Just ridiculous.
Peyton Manning – Papa John's
I mean, they are putting Fritos on top of their pizzas, guys. Fritos. What's next, whipped cream? Heathens. Peyton Manning is one of the least mobile quarterbacks in the league, so there is a chance he sneaks in a pie while he watches PBS every Tuesday night. Either way, he takes the L here.
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