On the list of guys you should never strive to be, this guy comes in near the top. The man in question is a Golden State Warriors “fan” who strolled into Oracle Arena last night clad in dad jeans and wearing a camera around his neck, telltale signs that the homie bought $5,000 courtside seats while taking a break from developing a go-to market plan for his terrible app. It’s probably the first game he’s been to all season.
After settling in to his seat to watch the Warriors demolish the Oklahoma City Thunder in Game 2 of the Western Conference Finals, Awful Camera Guy (his legal given name) began snapping photos of his surroundings as if he were on a nature walk and had just spotted his favorite bird, the Tufted Titmouse. He wasn’t on a nature walk, though. He was at a basketball game, a very important basketball game, surrounded by enormous men zooming around in dangerously close proximity to his seat. But that didn’t stop Awful Camera Guy from paying more attention to the photos he was taking than to the actual game being played five feet in front of him.
But that wouldn’t be the worst thing ACG did.
With just over three minutes left in the first quarter, Steph Curry went flying into the stands to chase a loose ball that had gone out of bounds right next to Awful Camera Guy. Curry disappeared beneath a sea of Warriors fans, and that’s when Awful Camera Guy made his most awful decision of the night: He took another picture.
Instead of offering a hand to help Curry (you know, the league MVP who’s already missed a handful of games this postseason due to various leg and ankle injuries) get back on the court, Awful Camera Guy started snapping photos. “Wow, Curry almost jumped over me last night, look how close he is! #mandown #myseatsaregreat #icantbelieveit #photographerlife” is what his Instagram caption probably read later that night, just underneath the photo he took of the best player in the NBA crumpled up in a heap below him. I mean, just look at him! Checking the screen of his camera to make sure the light hit Curry’s body just right, to really show how much pain he was in.
Fortunately, Curry eventually got back up and returned to the game, where he continued to torch the Thunder from behind the 3-point arc. But Awful Camera Guy remained, camera still slung around his neck, unaware of his own atrocities against mankind.
Please, sports fan. Don’t ever be this guy.